There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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