Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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