we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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