Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
