Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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