happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
