Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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