Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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