I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
