I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
