I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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