are you still at the devil's house?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
