I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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