Where is the hickey?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
