we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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