my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So squirting runs in the family.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
