so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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