so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
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