Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
