I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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