Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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