Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
