I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and she was petting her beer can
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
