listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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