I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
