i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Congratulations! We have a period
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
