I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
