Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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