I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
