stop calling my apartment porn island.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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