Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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