okay pat passed out under dana's car
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
