dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
