You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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