you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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