haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
