My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
