im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
