well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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