Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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