Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
