I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
