I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
