TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
