By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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