I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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