This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
