Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
