"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
