Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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