Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You were trust falling into bushes
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
