Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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