I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
