Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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