No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
