Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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