yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
