I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
