wat bout pragnant strippers??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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