I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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