I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
