I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
