i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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