and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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