My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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